A Faithful God

During the month of June Mom continued to take chemo treatments, and in between each round the doctors would allow her to come home for up to 2 weeks. She could never make it that long though. I hated it for her. She would always be so relieved to get to come home, but would be so sick she would have to be re-admitted. During the time she was able to be at home she would work around the house trying to get chores and various things done even though she had no strength. I remember she would call me at work to tell me the things she had accomplished. She was so proud of herself! I was proud of her. Usually every day when I arrived home she would be in the bathroom throwing up. I know everyone hates being sick like that, but she especially did. She would be fine one minute, and the next she would be covering her mouth trying to hold it in until she got to the bathroom. I would run as fast as I could to try and grab a trashcan for her, and stand there while she would be so sick. Her tears were like piercing needles to my heart, and I could hardly bear the pain of having to watch her like that. She would also have to go to the doctor for blood work every couple of days while she was home too. Her veins were so tiny that they could never pull any blood from them. You could see the look of hurt and ache rush across her face each time they stuck her. The nurse would always have to go and get different needles, and it always turned out to be such a long process. When I would ask Mom if she was okay she would always say to me, “This isn’t anything compared to what Jesus went through on the cross.” I knew she was hurting, and the fact that she had such a good attitude just melted my heart. What a testimony. I love her so, so much.
She did have some good days though. One Sunday morning she woke up, and said to me, “I feel like going to church today.” Momma loved her church, and had really been missing the people. It was so much fun to help her get ready that morning. Dad and I sat on the bed as she put several different scarves around her head trying to figure out which one to wear. She was so embarrassed because no one had seen her without hair yet. She looked so beautiful though. I helped her with her make-up, and Dad tied her scarf around her sweet, little head. When we got to church she put her arm around mine, and took a deep breath before we walked in. You should have seen everyone’s faces! It was so good to see Mom smile, and hear her laugh. I am smiling just thinking back on that day. It is a precious memory that I will forever cling to.
July was a different story. Mom was still having to go through chemo treatments, and was so sick all the time. It seemed like she was always in isolation. I hated having to wear a mask, gown, and gloves to be in there with her. I would constantly have to leave because it would get so hot, and she would just be so sick that I could hardly take it. She couldn’t eat or drink, so you can just imagine how awful it was with nothing on her stomach. She also had several complications with IV lines blowing, blood clots, and pic lines getting infected. It was always something! It was very scary when she would get infections, because she had no immune system. Sick, sick, sick is how she was 24/7. You would never hear her complain though.
While she was enduring all of this, Cleveland Clinic was in search of a bone marrow donor. The anticipation of waiting was horrible. My mom’s brother, Mark, decided to get tested since he was a direct sibling. We prayed so hard that he would be a match. I was at church one day when Mom called me crying to tell me that he wasn’t. She was so devastated. Her best friend, Teresa, was tested shortly after that and wasn’t a match either. It was so heart-breaking. Everything was turned upside down. I would be on my way to the hospital and see people out in their yards cooking on the grill, and walking out of stores with shopping bags. How I longed to have a “normal” life again. I just could understand why this had to happen to my mom of all people. The Lord was so good to us though. One day while Mom was home I was taking her to get blood work, and I told her if she felt like it that I would love to take her to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. She was feeling alright, so we went. Whenever we got there we were the only people in the restaurant. It was so nice. We had such sweet fellowship that morning. Towards the end of our meal the waitress came by to drop our ticket off. We sat there a little while longer, and she came back and picked it back up. Mom and I thought she might have forgotten to add something, and didn’t think another thing about it. We sat there and sat there until the waitress walked back over. When we asked for the ticket she said, “Someone dropped by and paid for it.” Mom and I were stunned! There was no one else in that building eating! God is good. Mom told me, “Kayla, look how the Lord blessed us and sent us an angel this morning.”
If I could choose one word to describe how the Lord was during this trial, it would be faithful. Little things like someone picking up our bill, or slipping money to me at church just proved how good the Lord is. He always supplied at the perfect time, and when we needed it most. Even on the worst days He was there, and He comforted us. There’s no other way we would have made it through. He chose us to go through this trial, and has been beside of us every second of every single day. He pays attention and knew exactly what we felt. If you don’t get anything else from this blog, get this: God Is faithful. I have much left to tell you. Many more months of sickness, heartache, and catastrophe, but it was all for a purpose. It is difficult to go back and remember everything, but I am praying you will be helped by it. It is with the Lord’s strength that I am typing every word, and I am praying that you will see His goodness and how He is helping us through this trial. II Corinthians 1:4.